Will Marriage Counseling Work?
Sep 25, 2023
Have you questioned if counseling is worth it? Isn't it a last-ditch effort for couples on the verge of divorce?
Research shows us that unhappy couples wait 6 years before getting help.
Guess what unhappy couples are after 6 years?
Troubled couples.
And what do troubled couples do?
They go to counseling further perpetuating the stigma of how couples end up in counseling.
Our recommendation? Go proactively! Whether it's a counselor or a mentor, please make it a priority.
We seek out personal trainers, business coaches, and financial planners but we don't seek out guidance for the most important relationship in our life.
In this blog, I wanted to explain what we do and how we differ from counselors.
Russ and I are huge believers in counseling. We've spent the life of our marriage in front of counselors for the past 22 years and yes, we have receipts.
MENTORING:
- Establishes a secure space for the exploration of self-awareness
- Offers insights into the reasons behind specific behaviors and patterns
- Collaborates with the couple to explore repair strategies
- Offers a roadmap and precise guidance for your next actions
- Offers support and fosters responsibility if desired
COUNSELING:
- Suitable for individuals seeking healing from trauma
- Aids in processing past experiences
- Suitable for those grappling with mental health challenges
- Offers validation and a supportive environment for open dialogue
- Utilizes questioning to encourage introspection and the exploration of emotions
- Maintains a focus on the client's experiences rather than the therapist's personal sharing
If you're experiencing trauma, abuse of any kind, addiction, or adultery please seek out a professional licensed counselor. Here are our recommendations: Licensed Counselors
OUR SPECIALITY
Our specialty is helping couples repair their communication or lack thereof.
As a couple who is seeking guidance, you are meeting with both of us not just one gender, which has given us the ability to give a balanced perspective.
We also meet for an average of 2 hours vs the 1 hour of counseling. It takes that long to walk through the Intentional Marriages framework. Couples learn the framework step-by-step.
Couples have expressed they like hearing and learning from our personal experiences. We're transparent about our disagreements, what led to them, and how we repair them.
We've practiced, and we've failed.
We've practiced again and failed a little less. Each time we looked for incremental improvements.
It's an ongoing process and no one arrives as a conflict-free couple but you do repair disagreements much quicker once you learn the framework.
A framework, you say? Tell me more!
Ah yes, the framework. Most guys love it because it is literally a step-by-step framework. They know exactly what to ask and what to say. Women...they don't like it so much. They just want their husband to speak from the heart.
No, you don't, ladies. haha
The framework is going to look simple on paper but most couples get stuck at step 2. Initially, it's going to feel clunky and awkward but it produces empathy and compassion, unlike the frustrated conversations that typically happen.
If you're interested in the step-by-step framework, reply to this email with the word "framework."
And if you think your marriage could benefit from a communication tune-up book an appointment.
Learn new communication skills you can immediately apply in your marriage and some harder skills (with practice) that will transform your marriage.
