A Happily Divorced Family?

This blog is brought to you by my stepdaughter, Chandler West. I'm so blessed to call her family!

Before I get into it.. let me explain the current situation of my family. My parents divorced when I was four or five years old.. I don’t remember what age, but I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. I was sitting on my dad’s lap in the green chair in the corner of our living room and my brother was on the couch. I didn’t understand what it exactly meant, all I knew is that my parents were no longer going to be under the same roof. It didn’t really take a huge toll on me like I have seen it done to my friends, and I have my mom and dad to thank for that.

Fast forward a few years my dad and my mom were both dating again. My dad was dating this tall beautiful blonde Danielle and my mom was dating a tall dark and handsome man Britt. I loved them both very much. At such a young age all I knew was love, and I don’t remember much but all I know is that looking back at it, ten years later, all I can remember was how excited I was to have more people to play hide and go seek with. I’m serious by the way.

They both ended up marrying Danielle and Britt and I was so excited. Britt had three daughters so I got the sisters I always had wanted, and Danielle was always there at my cheerleading competitions, basketball games, you name it, she was there.

Obviously, not everything can be rainbows and butterflies but I swear by this. When I am asked about my childhood, honestly, I don’t have much to complain about. I always saw it as these extra parents to love and get to have two houses, extra grandparents, and more gifts ;). 

I can’t speak for anyone else other than myself, my brother was four years older and I know he was more affected than I was because he understood it more, but I think it’s very important for parents who bring children into this world to understand what exactly they’re doing to the family when they divorce.

I believe in separating if it is best for your relationship with your spouse. I also believe once you have children it becomes about them and not you. My parents, all four of them, are the most selfless people I know and my upbringing is a huge example of why. Although my mom and dad did not work out together, they still showed me how to love each other through the bad and how to accept the people brought into the family. They never fought over custody, they never brought us to court, and they never made us see the awful sides of a divorce. My mom and my dad were so happy for each other when they both found a new love, and that is the most beautiful thing of all to me. Both of my moms and both of my dads all love each other very much. I have one Thanksgiving, one birthday, etc.. They all used to live in the same neighborhood.

When I am faced with a situation causing me to explain the dynamics of my family, the inevitable questions come such as...

“Wait… they get along?” “There’s no way.. what about your mom and stepmom? Don’t they hate each other? And your dad and stepdad?” “THEY LIVE IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD??”

I take a sense of pride when answering these questions, and I am so thankful to be in the position I am in with my family. I am so blessed to have four amazing parents who love me very much and four siblings who are always going to be there for me. I don’t know the term “step” and I encourage anyone who might be going through a divorce to understand how the outcome doesn’t always have to be terrible. I really appreciate everything my parents did to make it a smooth transition and I hope this can inspire families to hear it from the child’s point of view in a positive light. Happily Divorced families are a possibility.

Chandler West is an aspiring makeup artist here in Atlanta. You can see her work at ChandlerWestMakeup.com and be sure to follow her on Instagram!