Welcome to Intentional Marriages
Done deliberately; intended; an intentional slight.
Having to do with intention.
The word ‘intentional’ doesn’t naturally come to mind when we think about our marriages. We want our relationship to simply work. “We don’t need to work on our marriage if we are meant to be.” I used to think of those similar thoughts when I was younger. Ironically, being intentional brings a level of closeness you can only experience on purpose. But being intentional is not the only thing we need to do, understanding our own baggage we bring to the marriage is also critical to the success of a marriage.
Marriage Blends Baggage – Have You Unpacked?
We each bring a U-Haul of baggage into the marriage and it becomes the filter through which we see life and how we interact with our partner. Understanding our partner’s baggage we can develop a level of compassion and understanding. The blending of this baggage can either result in constant conflict or you can use it to turn towards each other. More of this “baggage” discussion is in our blogs and podcasts.
Russ and I (Danielle,) met in September 2001. He had been divorced earlier that year. I had come off a difficult relationship so neither of us was open to dating. Russ had been married for 12 years and had two children. My Dad told me never to buy into the idea of marriage, much less a divorced man with children. However, God had a different plan in mind. Thankfully, we spent our initial time together as friends and slowly moved into dating.
As things progressed, we spent many hours in counseling regarding the baggage we would potentially bring into the marriage. This practice of going to counseling has remained one of our monthly check-ins for the life of our marriage, which will be 16 years on November 20, 2020.
Initially, we went to counseling out of fear and wanting to do things the right way. Little did I know what a lifeline this was going to be. Even with all the counseling, our first several years were extremely hard. I wanted out of the marriage during the first year. I didn’t know how to express my frustrations so I sat and stewed, which seemed like forever to my husband. I was learning the tools but not applying them. In the past, I used to run from conflict but now being married I felt stuck. Where could I run to now?
Over time counseling became more of intentional investment in our marriage. The counseling tools have been very valuable to us and provide us the skills to navigate the inevitable conflict that is in every marriage. Our hope is for you to learn from our lessons and not be miserable in your marriage. You can have conflict, discuss your frustrations, resolve them, and feel even closer after this type of interaction. Hard to believe, right?!
We want this site to be one where you feel at home and find encouragement. If you met us during Thrive, a North Point Community Church Marriage Course, then you know we are about transparency and intentionality.
This website was designed for you…a place of encouragement, a place to see that other couples do struggle from time to time, a place to learn how to repair and recover. We share what we’ve learned from going to 17 years of counseling together and leading dozens of married couples in small groups. You’re not just joining this community, we are joining you. Let’s do this together…stay intentional!
In this Marriage Platform, you will receive:
Blogs and Webinars sharing various Marriage Tools and Resources to address common issues like:
Create an inseparable bond with the one you love…intentionally.
To register, click here —> Join Now!
Russ and I reside north of Atlanta. We are recent reluctant empty nesters. We have two amazing kids who are living out their passions at an early age. Russ works in the I.T. industry and I spend my time mentoring, volunteering, and trying to Rx my WODs. We are also parents of two misbehaving rugrats. Everything at our core is about having a growing relationship with Jesus Christ, loving each other deeply along with the family & friends God has placed in our lives.